Opinion: Dating Should Lead to Marriage—Not a String of Temporary Connections

I recently watched a TikTok video by Eli Rallo in which she discussed her interview with a psychic for one of her journalism classes. During the interview, the woman opened up and shared something surprising: she never envisioned herself getting married. Instead, she enjoyed forming connections with multiple people, saying it gave her more memories in the long run.

While it’s nice to get to know different people throughout life, I believe being in multiple short-term relationships—knowing from the beginning that you’ll never be with that person long term—is ultimately a waste of time. Sure, you can be upfront about what you want, but people are rarely honest about their intentions, especially when they’re still figuring things out themselves.

Take this scenario: You’re intentionally looking for a long-term relationship, so you express your needs at the start of every date to ensure the other person knows where you stand. They might say they’re on the same page. But often, the truth doesn’t surface right away. Sometimes, people agree with what you want just to keep seeing you, even if what they actually want is something short-term. Over time, you start seeing this person regularly, feelings grow, and you fall in love. Then, out of nowhere, they say they want to see other people. You’re left heartbroken and confused. They might come clean and admit they lied about wanting something long-term—or they may never tell you the truth.

Don’t get me wrong—some people will be upfront from the beginning. But realistically, only a few will clearly communicate their expectations.

At the same time, it's important to acknowledge that most people won’t find “the one” on their first date. It’s natural to go on multiple first dates before meeting someone who truly stands out. It’s also worth noting that relationships can end for many valid reasons: people grow apart, one partner can’t commit, unresolved arguments pile up, or long distance becomes too much. Sometimes, a breakup is simply unavoidable.

Still, if the goal is to date someone for a few months just to “see what it’s like” instead of working toward a lasting relationship, then there may never be a happily ever after. One downside of constantly starting over with new people is having to relearn everything about them from scratch—how they communicate, whether they’re empathetic, what hobbies they enjoy, and what they aspire to. Repeating first-date conversations again and again can be exhausting.

You’re left with scattered memories of people you used to know instead of building lasting memories with one person who grows with you over time. Someone you can continue learning from—and who continues learning from you—no matter how long you’ve been together. You never truly stop getting to know your partner. There will always be new challenges to overcome and new victories to celebrate together.